Postpartum Was Harder Than I Expected

Before becoming a mom, I knew postpartum would be challenging.

People talk about the sleepless nights, diaper changes, and constant feedings. I expected to be tired.

What I didn't fully understand was how completely life would change overnight.

One day, I was responsible for myself.

The next day, I was responsible for a tiny human who depended on me for everything.

Nothing in my engineering career prepared me for the emotional weight of that responsibility.

As an engineer, I'm used to solving problems. When something isn't working, I analyze it, identify the root cause, and develop a solution.

Postpartum doesn't always work that way.

Sometimes the baby is crying and you've checked everything.

Sometimes you're exhausted but can't fall asleep.

Sometimes you spend hours researching something and still aren't sure you're making the right decision.

Sometimes you miss the person you were before becoming a parent while simultaneously loving your baby more than you thought possible.

Those emotions can exist at the same time.

One of the biggest surprises for me was realizing how much of postpartum is an adjustment of identity.

Your schedule changes.

Your priorities change.

Your relationships change.

Your body changes.

Even the simplest tasks suddenly require planning and coordination.

For someone who likes structure and predictability, that can be incredibly difficult.

There were days when I felt productive simply because I managed to shower, eat a meal, and keep my baby happy.

Looking back, I wish more people talked about that.

Not because postpartum is all negative, but because it's often portrayed as either magical or miserable when the reality is much more complex.

There are beautiful moments.

There are hard moments.

Sometimes they happen within the same hour.

As time passed, I found myself returning to a principle that has helped me throughout my life: focus on the next step.

Not the next month.

Not the next year.

The next step.

Feed the baby.

Drink some water.

Take a shower.

Get some rest when possible.

Small actions felt insignificant in the moment, but they helped me slowly adjust to this new chapter of life.

Today, I still don't have everything figured out.

I don't think any parent does.

But I've learned that postpartum isn't something you conquer.

It's something you move through, one day at a time.

And if you're currently in that season, struggling more than you expected, know that you're not alone.

The transition to motherhood is one of the biggest changes a person can experience.

It's beautiful.

It's exhausting.

It's transformative.

And it's okay if it takes time to find your footing.